My brother has cancer. It is truly an all consuming part of life now. I think about Googie and pray for him and his family ALL the time. Clark and I talk about other things, but it always comes back to Googie. My mom and I talk many times a day. Each time we talk about the latest with Googie.
Yesterday morning I started a new Bible study. I have amazing, amazing friends that listen to me, hear my worries and pray for me and my family. One of those dear friends said something to me yesterday... she said, "when you mentioned that your brother's situation is all consuming, you seemed apologetic. It should be all consuming and no one is faulting you for that."
I needed to hear that. I'm not kidding when I tell you, I think I talk about all of this WAY too much. I cry about it way too much. I take up too much time during prayer request time at Bible study and Sunday school. But, as Erin said... it should be that way.
Clark and I are so blessed to be a part of such an amazing church. Crossroads continues to lift all of us up in prayer. My sweet friends continue to listen to me and cry with me. When I told them about some of the stupid thoughts that go through my head, my sweet friend Chelsea assured me that was satan attacking me. I also needed to hear that. I truly can't imagine going through this without them.
So, with all that being said... let me tell you about the positives coming out of this. Clark and I have made it a priority to pray with our kids. I can't tell you how uplifting it is to see Walker put his little hands together and listen to every word and then joyfully exclaim, "AMEN" when we are done.
This blog has almost exclusively been about my sweet Walker and my sweet Everly. I'm not gonna lie... it's bit hard to talk about the funny stories or silly things my kids did that day. Like I said in my last post... my perspective has changed. But, at the same time... my kids ARE still doing silly things and they bring me joy every single day. So, I promise to blog about it. But, I also promise to blog about what I'm really feeling. And I believe God will grant us some awesome Googie stories to report, too!
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2 comments:
Thank you for sharing Deana. I think Erin and Chelsea were right. I think it is totally normal for you and us to focus on your situation. PLease don't feel guilty - that is Satan. I admire so much how you continue to find the ways God is working and talking to you. We love you too!
Deana, I will keep Googie in my prayers. We have been through this in our family and I can tell you that God is good...all the time.
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