I hate cancer. I really, really hate it. I have no idea why it took hold of my brother and wouldn't let go.
I hate that there wasn't a pill or a shot that would make it go away.
I hate that Savannah, Carson and Ryder lost their Daddy.
I hate that my mother, Ray and my dad had to bury a child.
I hate that Trisha is left without her soulmate.
I hate that Walker and Everly will not know their Uncle Googie.
I hate that I won't get to laugh with Googie again.
But, with all that being said, I am thankful that he is with our Heavenly Father. He is in a new body, no longer suffering. What a blessing that is.
I'm sure some people decide to be angry when something like this happens. Even when Googie got his diagnosis, I wasn't angry. I know God has a plan. I may not understand that plan, but I know it's there. And, I know that many people are being touched by his life and by his death.
I have learned many things over the last few months....
Don't take things for granted.
Enjoy every kiss, hug, snuggle and smile from your babies.
If you say something you don't mean, apologize immediately.
Tell your parents, your spouse, your kids and your friends that you love them.
I heard a lot of stories about Googie over the last two days. Hundreds of people came to visitation and the memorial.... they all had common thoughts:
He was a great guy.
He was always smiling.
He was never mean or ugly to anyone.
One of my favorite themes was from my friends that I grew up with... they all remembered him as a brother that was always sweet and never one to ignore us. This wasn't a surprise to me. I always remember him being sweet to me and including me in things. But, hearing from my childhood friends confirmed to me that he really was the BEST!
I am so thankful for all our amazing memories. Even though my babies won't remember their Uncle Googie, I will remember how wonderful he was with them. Even when he felt terrible, he made an effort with them and I will never forget it.
I loved Googie my first 34+ years and I will love and miss him everyday of my life.
7 comments:
You and Googie were so special and I was so blessed to be your mother!
Deana, I am so sad to read about this. I can't imagine what it must feel like to lose a beloved sibling so young like we are. I adore my sister and I would feel so alone without her. I'm so glad you and Googie got along so well and loved each other so well. I can only imagine how much WORSE it would feel if you were rivals or unfriendly or even apathetic towards each other as so many siblings are. What a gift that you expeirenced such a sweet friendship all these years. Thank you for sharing your thoughts-- makes me sad I never met him. Glad I will some day! Love you, sweet girl. You and your family are being prayed for. BY ME!!!
This is so sweet Deana. Well said. Praying for you all.
Deana, Thanks so much for the great words. Chris' smile is soo infectious! The picture you posted is the same image I always have when thinking of Chris. Family is a wonderful thing to enjoy.
Love what you said about how as a big brother he never ignored or discounted you. Can you believe the crap he put up with when we were idiotic freshman in college?! ha! i'm laughing, just thinking about it. Only someone wonderful like him would drive a bunch of girls to West Texas...in record time;) I see him in your smile--that will be his memory living on forever:) love you.
Deana I lost my big brother too and it is much harder than people realize, especially when you are the only remianing child for your parents. Support them, but make sure you take care of you too! I feel for you and am truly sorry for your loss. Message me anytime if you need to talk!
Deana - what a sweet memorial of your brother. It is amazing how much you look alike. I hope Evan and Julia have the type of relationship you two did and I know you pray Everly and Walker will do the same. What a special,special guy he must have been.
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